Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer's novel/series
Twilight has a shit ton to do with where I am today, and I like where I am today. I know that's not something many of you think I ought to admit to, but keep with me. While it's not a direct consequence, I likely would not be earning my credential without it.
I'm playing with the idea of re-reading
Twilight, having gone through as of this post the first eleven pages. I've such complicated thoughts and feelings about this series.
I picked the book up on a whim back during the summer of 2007. I hadn't read much in years, save for
Harry Potter, but I wanted to see what else was out there. So I researched Barnes and Noble out and found it on their "Best Sellers" list. The recommendations were everywhere, and really convincing. I thought I'd give it a shot.
I sat down in the store to read the first few pages of the first book, just to see. I don't remember it grabbing my attention so much, beyond the first hook:
I'd never given much thought to how I would die--I'd had reason enough in the last few months--but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this...
Y'all.
The rest of it, Bella getting to Forks because she felt like an unnecessary burden on her mother's life (?) was boring and a bit contrived. Totally went against what I would soon learn was "the way to write well." But the hook was enough, the hype was enough, I remembered liking YA novels, and I wanted to read something. I don't remember how fast I read it, but it was within days. While reading and especially after, I couldn't help but feel like I'd missed out on an opportunity. It just felt like something I could have written.
Whether or not that's true doesn't matter. I gave up writing for damn near seven years at this point, when before I wrote literally every day. Being a blossoming writer was my whole world as a teen, it saved my life. The friends I've known the longest hail from that time, and they were writers too. But I'd given it up and was glancing in its direction again. It wasn't until slightly earlier when I had a run-in with a vehement
Harry Potter hater and, not knowing how else to deal with it, fell back to my innate need to write. It was a bug, but at this point I kept my writings strictly non-fiction. For reasons unimportant here, I didn't feel like I could or should write fiction again. Yet.
But
Twilight changed that. I know that most wouldn't admit this, but it fit my style as I remembered it from high school. And my peers loved my writing back then. I wanted to write the story I began in my sophomore year, and this book had me fiddling around with that again (I had only memory to go with, having torn up and tossed everything I'd written some years before). So I get a bit defensive, much as I like the discussions and find them interesting.
Anyway, I tore through the next three books in the series. I became a missionary for The Church of Twilight, converting friends and becoming rather offended to discover I had friends who had already but didn't tell me about it. And, with my love for writing reignited, I took some classes from a local, oft-published writer. I learned "how to write well." Without going into it, the classes destroyed my writing. I'm still recovering.
I began to look more critically at
Twilight. Being Mormon at the time confused things even more, especially being a burgeoning disenchanted Mormon. I also felt disappointed at the second book (my GOD) and confused about the level of sexuality in the third with respect to my religion. The fourth book disappointed completely because NOBODY DIED. Also, I was completely inactive in my church by then then, and had been exposed to many criticisms, from people who saw racism and horrible messages for little girls to those who denied completely that they found the sex scenes a complete turn on to those who thought Meyer was a terrible Mormon for even going there. I didn't know quite where I stood, and I still don't. I tried, though. I refused to fall into the racism camps and the horrible message camp (at least, I
think of the latter). Mostly I was disappointed in how the story ultimately turned out, and I bemoaned the writing. I projected my religious identity to it, and it was so complicated at the time. It was scary.
But it's been a few years now since I read
Breaking Dawn, and things in my head have calmed down considerably (or at least changed). I resent being taught how to write "well" to the extent I was. I'm still learning how to write just to write again, without worrying about technicalities. It wasn't good for my perfectionistic, OCD nature. And the criticisms continue. I find them terribly interesting. Ultimately, what I hear is that young girls shouldn't read this series for the message it sends to its intended audience. Many attack her for the Mormon influence. It is funny, and you do see the influence a bit
but truly, we all have to agree that Meyer crossed or at least flirted heavily with some moral lines as defined by her religious sphere.
Maybe I'm wrong or only partly right. And this post is long enough, so I'll save the rest for later but when I address it, I want to talk about what's being said and my own experiences. Tween and teen girls do have their own ideas about sex and love and romance, and they can be heavily influenced by stories such as this. I've a feeling Meyer didn't write the book with that intention. She had a dream, she loved gothic romance and
Wuthering Heights and wrote a book that engrossed millions of girls (and women). Themes can be objective, but every reader brings their own experiences, beliefs, and values to the table making themes extremely subjective as well. I worry now about writing my own stories--what if an unintended message gets through (benefit of the doubt, kids), etc.? We're all people and we're working on our own issues, subconscious or not, but that's a hell of a fire to go through with a medium so personal. Even if it is fiction.
But the problem I'm beginning to really have is how the criticisms are beginning to smell a bit too much like calls for censorship, and I don't like that at all. There are other avenues to deal with the very valid concerns.
Twilight is not the first and it sure as hell won't be the last to cause such commotion. I have no problem with analyzations and interpretations whatever they may be, but it's just gotten a bit crazy for me, crazy enough that I'm stepping out as the potential bad guy in defense of a book that admittedly has very little literary merit. I realize I could be eaten alive, here.
But dammit, Meyer got me writing again. You don't mess with that.
