Gender bullying

One teacher's approach to gender bullying in a classroom

This is a link you all need to read, and following is what I wrote on my Facebook wall:

I was a kid in the fourth grade who was mistaken for a boy not only in school, but out in public. My grandma asked me if I wished I was a boy. My haircut was constantly criticized and bemoaned. I liked sports and hated dolls. I liked dirt and loathed dresses. I had a mom who let me wear whatever I felt most comfortable in, who respected who I was. I had teachers who respected me despite my "gender non-conformity" because I was more than what gender I looked like.

I was nervous after I wrote it, but it's not like it's a secret to those who've known me for a long time or for those who know me well. And more people need to hear from those who have been there to whatever degree they were there. It was to the point for me where I worried over my sexuality--at age nine--because people couldn't leave me alone.

And thankfully, one the two FB friends I have who have known me since that time in my life was sweet enough to let me know that this was why he talked to me.

We need more people like this in the world. People who embrace others for who they are and allow them to be themselves. It's not easy. I know.

That post was awesome.

A Series of Unfortunate Events #1: Review

A Series of Unfortunate Events: The Bad Beginning, or Orphans! (#1), Lemony Snicket

Goodreads Rating: 3.69 stars
My rating: 2 stars


From Publisher's Weekly: "If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other book." So cautions Snicket, the exceedingly well-mannered narrator of these two witty mock-gothic novels featuring the misadventures of 14-year-old Violet, 12-year-old Klaus and infant Sunny Baudelaire. From the first, things look unfortunate indeed for the trio: a fire destroys their home, killing their parents along with it; the executor of their parents' estate, the obtuse Mr. Poe (with a son, Edgar), ignores whatever the children have to say; and their new guardian, Count Olaf, is determined to get his hands on the Baudelaire fortune. But by using their individual gifts (Violet's for inventing, Klaus's for reading and researching and baby Sunny's for biting) the three enterprising children thwart the Count's planAfor now. The author uses formal, Latinate language and intrusive commentary to hilarious effect, even for readers unfamiliar with the literary conventions he parodies. The peril in which he places the Baudelaires may be frightening (Count Olaf actually follows through on his threats of violence on several occasions), but the author paints the satire with such broad strokes that most readers will view it from a safe distance. Luckily for fans, the woes of the Baudelaires are far from over; readers eager for more misfortune can turn to The Reptile Room, for an even more suspenseful tale. Exquisitely detailed drawings of Gothic gargoyles and mischievous eyes echo the contents of this elegantly designed hardcover. Age 9-up.


My review:
Meh.

I know, I know. Let me first say that my "meh" is *not* because I don't appreciate unfortunate events happening to people in my books. God knows I've read enough of those books and enjoyed them thoroughly. I'm not one to bemoan "depressing" books like some I know who do. I'm not even sure I consider this story (thus far) depressing. Bad things happened, but I wasn't attached to anyone. I'm not sure I was supposed to be. Sunny bugged me, I couldn't laugh at her--though I can imagine my kids laughing at her. I appreciated Klaus and Violet but not enough to really cheer for them. The inserted vocabulary lessons were okay, I suppose; they might be appreciated by the target audience, but I'm not sure if it really worked or if it was wholly necessary. I wanted a happy ending, but I didn't feel robbed without it (probably in part because I was guaranteed to not get one). Even then. "Whatever."

I did like the tongue-in-cheek term "unfortunate" and the tone of narration was different, which I didn't mind; I like the "read another book, this is sad and doesn't get happy" stuff, but...

Meh. 

Super-Mini Writer's Workshop

The kids in the 8th grade ELA classroom I observe are working on a personal narrative project, which will later be published into a hardcover book. One student in the remedial class finished inputing his text really, really fast. My host teacher asked me to help him elaborate on his story.

I love this kind of thing, so I bounded over and knelt next to his computer. The first page related how his sports team had advanced to the next round of the tournament. I saw an opportunity here, and asked him how his team reacted with the news.

"I dunno."

"Were you guys excited? Were you nervous? Were you 'whatever'?"

"Yeah, 'whatever.'"

"For real?"

"Yeah. We weren't surprised."

"Okay. How could someone tell that you weren't surprised or that you were 'whatever'?"

"I dunno."

"If you were looking at someone who reacted to news like 'whatever' but you didn't hear them talk or didn't know what they were thinking, how could you tell?"

*shrug*

"Exactly. Type that."


Related: I had a blast today, and while I'm not as terrified as I used to be, just the thought of being alone frightens the hell out of me. Good thing that's normal.

Pre-Credential Conclusion

It's nice to have some validation, especially in the observation phase of the process, even if it isn't necessarily what I'm making it out to be. The principal asked me when I'd be finished, have my credential. Not that they're looking for an English/ELA teacher (math, actually. desperate. DESPERATE), but it was a nice sentiment. And it came on the heels of a pretty good conversation/interview for my class. He gave me some insights into the hiring process, at least his. Then, my host teacher asked if I was entering the program next semester. In my mind she was asking to know when I'd be beginning student teaching, and maybe with her. Who the hell knows.

But she also said I need to sub when I can, because the kids like me and I'm good with them. "Two things you really need to be a good sub." She also filled out my disposition form with all green lights--no yellows, no "getting there"--all greens. The other teacher I observe has nothing but go-aheads for me. I love her.

I kind of hate that I'm not entering the program for another three semesters after all of this. I gotta get that degree yesterday. Unfortunately, I'm pushing it as it is.

I'm dying, guys.

The Obligatory Twilight Conversation

Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer's novel/series Twilight has a shit ton to do with where I am today, and I like where I am today. I know that's not something many of you think I ought to admit to, but keep with me. While it's not a direct consequence, I likely would not be earning my credential without it.

I'm playing with the idea of re-reading Twilight, having gone through as of this post the first eleven pages. I've such complicated thoughts and feelings about this series.

I picked the book up on a whim back during the summer of 2007. I hadn't read much in years, save for Harry Potter, but I wanted to see what else was out there. So I researched Barnes and Noble out and found it on their "Best Sellers" list. The recommendations were everywhere, and really convincing. I thought I'd give it a shot.

I sat down in the store to read the first few pages of the first book, just to see. I don't remember it grabbing my attention so much, beyond the first hook:

I'd never given much thought to how I would die--I'd had reason enough in the last few months--but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this...

Y'all.

The rest of it, Bella getting to Forks because she felt like an unnecessary burden on her mother's life (?) was boring and a bit contrived. Totally went against what I would soon learn was "the way to write well." But the hook was enough, the hype was enough, I remembered liking YA novels, and I wanted to read something. I don't remember how fast I read it, but it was within days. While reading and especially after, I couldn't help but feel like I'd missed out on an opportunity. It just felt like something I could have written.

Whether or not that's true doesn't matter. I gave up writing for damn near seven years at this point, when before I wrote literally every day. Being a blossoming writer was my whole world as a teen, it saved my life. The friends I've known the longest hail from that time, and they were writers too. But I'd given it up and was glancing in its direction again. It wasn't until slightly earlier when I had a run-in with a vehement Harry Potter hater and, not knowing how else to deal with it, fell back to my innate need to write. It was a bug, but at this point I kept my writings strictly non-fiction. For reasons unimportant here, I didn't feel like I could or should write fiction again. Yet.

But Twilight changed that. I know that most wouldn't admit this, but it fit my style as I remembered it from high school. And my peers loved my writing back then. I wanted to write the story I began in my sophomore year, and this book had me fiddling around with that again (I had only memory to go with, having torn up and tossed everything I'd written some years before). So I get a bit defensive, much as I like the discussions and find them interesting.

Anyway, I tore through the next three books in the series. I became a missionary for The Church of Twilight, converting friends and becoming rather offended to discover I had friends who had already but didn't tell me about it. And, with my love for writing reignited, I took some classes from a local, oft-published writer. I learned "how to write well." Without going into it, the classes destroyed my writing. I'm still recovering.

I began to look more critically at Twilight. Being Mormon at the time confused things even more, especially being a burgeoning disenchanted Mormon. I also felt disappointed at the second book (my GOD) and confused about the level of sexuality in the third with respect to my religion. The fourth book disappointed completely because NOBODY DIED. Also, I was completely inactive in my church by then then, and had been exposed to many criticisms, from people who saw racism and horrible messages for little girls to those who denied completely that they found the sex scenes a complete turn on to those who thought Meyer was a terrible Mormon for even going there. I didn't know quite where I stood, and I still don't. I tried, though. I refused to fall into the racism camps and the horrible message camp (at least, I think of the latter). Mostly I was disappointed in how the story ultimately turned out, and I bemoaned the writing. I projected my religious identity to it, and it was so complicated at the time. It was scary.

But it's been a few years now since I read Breaking Dawn, and things in my head have calmed down considerably (or at least changed). I resent being taught how to write "well" to the extent I was. I'm still learning how to write just to write again, without worrying about technicalities. It wasn't good for my perfectionistic, OCD nature. And the criticisms continue. I find them terribly interesting. Ultimately, what I hear is that young girls shouldn't read this series for the message it sends to its intended audience. Many attack her for the Mormon influence. It is funny, and you do see the influence a bit but truly, we all have to agree that Meyer crossed or at least flirted heavily with some moral lines as defined by her religious sphere.

Maybe I'm wrong or only partly right. And this post is long enough, so I'll save the rest for later but when I address it, I want to talk about what's being said and my own experiences. Tween and teen girls do have their own ideas about sex and love and romance, and they can be heavily influenced by stories such as this. I've a feeling Meyer didn't write the book with that intention. She had a dream, she loved gothic romance and Wuthering Heights and wrote a book that engrossed millions of girls (and women). Themes can be objective, but every reader brings their own experiences, beliefs, and values to the table making themes extremely subjective as well. I worry now about writing my own stories--what if an unintended message gets through (benefit of the doubt, kids), etc.? We're all people and we're working on our own issues, subconscious or not, but that's a hell of a fire to go through with a medium so personal. Even if it is fiction.

But the problem I'm beginning to really have is how the criticisms are beginning to smell a bit too much like calls for censorship, and I don't like that at all. There are other avenues to deal with the very valid concerns. Twilight is not the first and it sure as hell won't be the last to cause such commotion. I have no problem with analyzations and interpretations whatever they may be, but it's just gotten a bit crazy for me, crazy enough that I'm stepping out as the potential bad guy in defense of a book that admittedly has very little literary merit. I realize I could be eaten alive, here.

But dammit, Meyer got me writing again. You don't mess with that.

UC Davis: The Not-Other-Side-of-the-Story

Only related because it took place at UC Davis. Consider this a "and things semi-related" post.

But y'all have heard of this, right?

So I've seen that a few dozen times now, and I still can't without flinching.

I watched a local FOX News channel (not THE Fox News channel, with Hannity and the others, but the 10 o'clock folks). They had a segment wherein a fellow decided he wanted to know both sides of the story. "Can you really know the whole story from a 15 second video segment?" he asked.

I just looked up the name and news station just to be sure. While I can't find video of the segment, I did find this:

Jim Crandell, Fox 40 News. Yep. The sports guy decided to do a political op-ed piece. Dude.

I was intrigued. I like knowing all sides. What did this guy know?

He said something like "Well, it's not like the police were responding to people just sitting on a bench! These were protestors who defied police orders to move. What were they supposed to do? Carrying them out would carry the risk of hurting them..."

--didja catch that last part? because he actually said that*. k---

"...and you can't tase them. So what were these officers supposed to do? Just walk away? Pepper spray was the least harmful option! If they simply walked away, what does that tell the protestors? That they can take this anywhere! They could decide to block I-80 and keep you from going to work and picking up your children! When the police tell you to do something, you do it."

Blah blah blah blah. STFU, Jim. A hundred times over, STFU.

Yo, Jim. These protestors fully expected to be arrested and not pepper sprayed at such a close distance. And what was this other side of the story you had the exclusive on, because I didn't catch it.

Also, keep watching the video.

The crowd actually makes the PD-bags walk away.



* I keep hearing about how pepper spray is a "food product" and "harmless." Yeah, not really.

Dear Sub from Hell,

Dear Substitute Teacher from Hell,

I wouldn't be writing this if I hadn't heard you were the same way in every other class you've substituted for. I get it, it's not easy. It's effing difficult. When I walked in and two of the most well-behaved students in that class freaked out on me because "omg she's SO MEAN" I thought they were just being kids. Every sub sucks, right? I even tried to get the kids to, you know, listen. And they did listen to me...kinda. Soon I just gave up because you were mean. You know, while the kids could've been better, it's really hard to blame them after seeing how you've treated them.

So, a bit of advice:

Teaching 101:
Do not condescend to or be otherwise bitchy to the students.

Do not roll your eyes at them.

Do not send them out to the principal's office because they were making paper airplanes.

If you want respect, give respect.

Know the students. At least know if they are remedial or advanced. Hell, you know what? That doesn't matter. The clinical and wordy definitions from the text will go over most advanced 8th grade ELA students. They went over mine. Do not expect these kids to understand just because you read what is already in their books.

If a student who you've had particular issues with just up and walks out of class, you should probably call somebody. Especially if they don't return in the amount of time it takes to use the bathroom.

Don't ever say "Oh I'll just tell [your teacher] we went over it." Hi, I'm right here.

Don't take a kid's note away from her and refuse to give it back when she's crying because that's a letter her daddy wrote who she hasn't seen in a long time because he's in jail.

Be a little nicer to the observer. I mean geez, I was looking at their homework paper out of curiosity and you just took it away without so much as a "go to hell."

Also, 90 minutes of rote question and answer isn't the best way to keep the students interested and NOT naughtier than they already are.

Routinely ending ten minutes (if not more) before the end of class isn't the most awesome way to do things, just because you did everything the actual instructor put down in her notes. I hope you don't tell this teacher that she didn't give you enough to do like you have others, because omg.

Seriously.

When the super nice special ed. aide says you're a bitch, you must be a raving bitch.

Good LORD I hope to be better.